The Face of Self Esteem is an indepth discussion of what true self esteem looks like. My favorite part is the idea that strong self esteem creates a feeling of relaxation because we are sure of our ability to eventually conquer our obstacles.
"Relaxation implies that we are not hiding from ourselves and are not at war with who we are."
Self esteem is linked to the following:
Rationality - Living consciously and valuing facts above unreflective obedience.
Realism - A recognition of what is and what is not.
Intuitiveness - The ability to trust your instincts.
Creativity - Being able to value the production of the mind. Taking those ideas and nurturing them.
Independence - Confidence to follow your own path.
Flexibility - Ability to examine the facts and change your actions accordingly. "A mind that trusts itself is light on its feet." Includes being comfortable managing change.
Willingness to admit and correct mistakes.
Benevolence and cooperativeness - Dealing with others with compassion.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Pillars - Chapter 2/All is good!
The friendship is totally mended. And it was a very nice day.
Today I met my personal trainer, the Queen of Pain, at the gym for what was an extremely hard workout. Then, after a quick shower I went next door to get a lavender Citrus Sea Salt Glow treatment, which was wonderful!
On the way back, Bailey and I stopped at Kelly's. She wanted to meet to talk about what happened and see if we can work it all out. The very first thing she did was hug me and apologize. We came in and both apologized and we came to the conclusion the we had simply both fallen into a routine and neither one of us wanted to let the other down. We both need to try to spend more time doing things with other people.
After the hugging and tears, we decided to celebrate it with dinner at our favorite Puerto Rican restaurant where we had margaritas, empanada, and papas rellenas (sp?). Then we finished it all off with a coconut pineapple flan.
So we hugged and said goodnight. I called her a butthead and she called me a loser.
All is right with the world again.
Got a little distracted with other stuff this week, but I need to keep chugging thru this stuff, so this is my comments on chapter 2.
The chapter is titled "The Meaning of Self-Esteem" and goes into detail on what self-esteem is and is not and how it affects behavior in the real world.
The author breaks self esteem into two components: confidence (self-efficacy) and assurance (self respect).
Confidence is further defined as having confidence in the functioning of the mind, ability to think, understand, learn. Basically self trust.
Assurance is defined as the right to be happy. A feeling of being worth joy and happiness.
So I look at my life and see that when I was young, I had no self esteem at all in that I had no confidence or assurance. As I have grown older, educated myself, and seen that I am capable of learning and making good decisions, I see that I now have confidence (or at least a ton more then I did when I was younger). However, I seem to be missing the assurance piece. I do not really see myself as being worthy of love and happiness.
The chapter ends with some remarks on Pride and how it is often seen as a negative, but it really a very positive thing. It is about being happy with your choices and accomplishments. I know one thing... I am very proud of myself and I think that means that I will be able to fill in the missing pieces of my self esteem and move forward to being a more complete person.
Today I met my personal trainer, the Queen of Pain, at the gym for what was an extremely hard workout. Then, after a quick shower I went next door to get a lavender Citrus Sea Salt Glow treatment, which was wonderful!
On the way back, Bailey and I stopped at Kelly's. She wanted to meet to talk about what happened and see if we can work it all out. The very first thing she did was hug me and apologize. We came in and both apologized and we came to the conclusion the we had simply both fallen into a routine and neither one of us wanted to let the other down. We both need to try to spend more time doing things with other people.
After the hugging and tears, we decided to celebrate it with dinner at our favorite Puerto Rican restaurant where we had margaritas, empanada, and papas rellenas (sp?). Then we finished it all off with a coconut pineapple flan.
So we hugged and said goodnight. I called her a butthead and she called me a loser.
All is right with the world again.
Got a little distracted with other stuff this week, but I need to keep chugging thru this stuff, so this is my comments on chapter 2.
The chapter is titled "The Meaning of Self-Esteem" and goes into detail on what self-esteem is and is not and how it affects behavior in the real world.
The author breaks self esteem into two components: confidence (self-efficacy) and assurance (self respect).
Confidence is further defined as having confidence in the functioning of the mind, ability to think, understand, learn. Basically self trust.
Assurance is defined as the right to be happy. A feeling of being worth joy and happiness.
So I look at my life and see that when I was young, I had no self esteem at all in that I had no confidence or assurance. As I have grown older, educated myself, and seen that I am capable of learning and making good decisions, I see that I now have confidence (or at least a ton more then I did when I was younger). However, I seem to be missing the assurance piece. I do not really see myself as being worthy of love and happiness.
The chapter ends with some remarks on Pride and how it is often seen as a negative, but it really a very positive thing. It is about being happy with your choices and accomplishments. I know one thing... I am very proud of myself and I think that means that I will be able to fill in the missing pieces of my self esteem and move forward to being a more complete person.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Six Pillars of Self Esteem Chapter One
So I am going to force myself to read the book all the way thru this time and take it to heart and I thought it would keep me on track to post my thoughts after each chapter.
So after chapter one I am reminded how important it is for me to do this.
Love - I will never GET the type of man I want until I feel like I deserve the type of man I want.
Self-fulfilling prophecies - As long as I am constantly surprised at my success I will always have the posibility of sabatoging my success. As a matter of fact, as I was reading this last night I was reflecting on my business. I have not been putting the effort into it that I was in the beginning. I haven't done any damage yet, but I believe I might be sabotaging myself a little by not giving it my all. Why? Because I don't really believe I should be this successful. Time to nip this in the butt!
My favorite quote from this chapter:
"If my aim is to prove I am "enough", the project goes on to infinity - because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable."
So I really need to do this now!
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