Monday, May 04, 2009

Facebook


I have been busy with Facebook and haven't been posting much here. Mostly because there isn't much happening in my life. I have a new contract with the DOJ, and so far it is going well. I started Bikram Yoga a couple of weeks ago and I am really enjoying it. Going to start taking horseback riding lessons twice a week instead of just once. And of course Bailey and I still do our daily walk/hike depending on the weather.

Every time I consider the idea of dating, I just feel exhausted by it all. I'm happy and doing well, so I'm just not going to worry about it.

Kelly and Killian are doing well. Killian is adorable. Mila has injured her knee and has to go in for surgery tomorrow. Bailey and I will send her healing thoughts.

My sister adopted my new niece. Riley is growing like a weed!

I'm going to plan a trip out to Colorado and New Mexico in October and will hopefully get to see everyone.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Wow... My dog ladies and gentlemen!

So I'm sitting on the sofa watching TV and I hear my dog bark. Now, normally she would bark at the window if she sees someone outside, or she will go into the back yard to bark at unknown monsters. But this was a special bark. It's the bark she uses to get my attention, like when I put her in the garage to open the door for the UPS guy and forget to let her back out.

So I hear and bark and I know she is in trouble and I start to call her. I go upstairs, she isn't there. I call and here her bark again, but it sounds like it is coming from the front yard. But there isn't any way she can be out front. So I go to the back yard... and the BACK GATE IS OPEN!!

I don't know how it happened since I keep it latched all the time. But she must have gone outside and found it open.

So I am freaking out and run to the front door and there she is standing on the door step!

I am very lucky to have a dog not only smart enough to know she shouldn't just run for the hills when she gets the chance, but knows she shouldn't be outside by herself... finds the front door and barks for me to come and get her.

Now if I could just train her to come and tell me the back gate was open in the first place.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Birthday Clearance


So I am now 39. My last year in my 30's. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.

I started a new job back in November and they got me a clearance. The company is a bit of a mess, but I see it as an opportunity to really pitch in and help out. It's stressful and I was considering looking for something else for a while, but I think I will stick it out for a while.

My FAA contract is over and done. My company is now just me. Frankly, I'm a little relieved. No more fighting, no more worrying about anyone else's happiness, and the ability to make my own choices.

Over all, things are good. I love my friends, family and my puppy. Killian is amazing. NASA guy is cute and I am hoping he calls. But even if he doesn't, I'm happy.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

True Love

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Memory Fading

I was reading back through my posts over the last four years and I must be getting old. There are a lot of people that I talk about and I can't remember who they even were. I seem to be very excited to have met them at the time. I am trying to resist the tempation to go back and delete the posts that deal with things I don't remember or things that embarrass me. But the reason I have this blog is to record moments in my life, good and bad.

I wandered back onto the Motley Fool yesterday. I thought maybe I could use the website for business advice. Of course the usual cast of characters are still around. I don't think I will stick around long enough for them to notice me. I'm sure they are all still cold and cruel people and I really don't want to go through that again. I did send waffle a note mainly because I never really believed he wanted to be cruel. He may ignore it. He may bring it up to everyone else and throw me under the bus. Doesn't much matter to me. I'm the same person and I'm sure I would still be called crazy. I am who I am and over all, I'm happy with who that is.

Thanksgiving was lovely and quiet. I am spending the holidays at home this year to save money. There are a ton of great parties I'm invited to and I think I will get a small tree.

Today I have my riding lesson, which I really love. I can see myself getting better at it. Later I will go for a hike with Bailey.

It's a beautiful day.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Confession

I'm in love with Justin Timberlake. I think he is talented, funny, handsome and he can dance. I'm 38 years old and I am in love with a former Mousketeer.

So, it's official. I'm a total freak.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Halloween Pictures


Friday, November 14, 2008

I love puppies...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Lookin' Up!!!


So I haven't been posting much lately. Things have been stressful over the last couple of months. I have been mostly out of work for the last several months and I was beginning to think I was going to have to give up my company and get a regular full time position.

But today I was notified that I have a new contract in place as of Monday and I will be getting a clearance out of the deal! I am very excited to be looking at new challenges, meeting new people and making some money!

I think things are going to be fairly rosy around here come January.

In the meantime, please enjoy the cutest boy on the planet.

Oh! I forgot to mention that I went to Kooza last Friday and had a blast! And I have a date tomorrow with a very handsome man and I am really hoping we are going to hit it off.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Kristin and Hootie

New pictures from our Hootie concert and our good bye dinner with Kristin. I will miss her very much.



















Wednesday, July 23, 2008

To Zoloft or Not to Zoloft... That is the Question.

I ran out of Zoloft on Saturday. Due to a mix up at the pharmacy, I have yet to pick up the refill. So I am on the 4th day without it and so far I am feeling fine. I know it takes a while to get out of your system, but I'm wondering if I should try to get off it. I have been under a lot of stress lately, so now may not be the best time, but I think I want to give it a shot. It may make me a little more emotional and if I have an anxiety attack, I will need to get back on it. But it has been seven years since I was diagnosed and I only seem to have panic attacks when I am already feeling sick over something.

Of course my adopted dad is opposed to the idea. He says if my happiness can be almost guaranteed by taking a pill once a day, then why stop? He is very right and if this doesn't work I will have no problems going back on it.

Guess I have to wait and see what happens.

Unconditional Love?

Yesterday was a day of realizing how my life has been and always will be different from most people I know.

I had plans to meet up with my best friend for lunch and shopping. We used to spend several days a week together, but since she had her baby 3 months ago, we haven't been able to spend much time together.

He is an adorable baby and I love him myself. I love to hold him and he is amazing to watch. I'm very proud of what a good mom she has turned out to be.

She and I are extreme dog people and she has been feeling a lot of guilt because since the baby was born, her dog has definitely taken a back burner even though we both used to say that would never happen. I ended up bringing her dog home with me for a couple of days so I could fill up her love bucket.

But the theme of the day was definitely the love between child and parent. First there was her love for him, how much she missed him while we were out, all the cute things he is starting to do, etc.

Then there was the conversation with Him about how he wasn't going to be able to see me because his daughter wasn't feeling well. He talked about how he would wait on his baby hand and foot if she wasn't feeling well and I broke down in tears. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.

As I was going to bed last night, I tried to examine the reaction I had to try to determine why I had such a strong one and it smacked me in the face. I've never had that. Not ever. I was a daddies girl when I was little. And my dad left us when I was 8. He was a deadbeat dad, so there wasn't even an attempt at him trying to maintain a relationship.

My mother and I never got along. I was a shy, quiet, painfully self conscious girl and my mother was not a very tender person. She preferred my sister and the preference was so obvious that it ruined the relationship between us. As a result, I spent a lot of my time as a child wondering why I was so unlovable. I guess I still have a tendency to do that, though it isn't as debilitating.

What's the point to all this? My reaction to my friend and to Him were normal considering it is something I have never experienced in my life. It is a mystery to me and a dream to be loved so intensely. It is also likely something I will never experience since I can't have children and can't seem to find love.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Carp E Diem




















So today I decided to take Bailey for a walk around Ft Belvoir. About 100 yards down the trail we came across a couple of very large dead carp. It rained pretty hard on Saturday and the flooding had washed them up on the path. We were about to walk away when we heard something thrashing in the water. I looked over into a large puddle off the path and saw about 10 large carp that were caught in the shallows! Two of them were already on deaths door and the flies were starting to bite them. Then I noticed a deeper pool where another 5 or more were stranded.

I started walking away, but I just couldn't do it. I know it is silly. They are only fish. But I felt like I would be killing them myself if I just left them there. So what did I do? I waded into the water and started trying to grab the suckers so I could toss them into the lake. NOT AN EASY JOB!!!! First of all, the lightest one was heavier then Bailey and one of them had to be 40lbs!!! And there wasn't an easy way for me to grab them. I could only hold them for a second until they wiggled out of my hands. So I would have to catch them and give them a series of short tosses until they were close enough that I could toss them in. Once I got all the ones out of the shallows I had to start to catch the ones in the deeper pool. Have you ever heard of the term "herding cats"? Well, trust me, cats are easy. It took me another hour to get the 5 in the pool chased into shallows (one by one), then do more leap frogging to get close to the lake, then tossing them in.

Of course I did all that knee deep in water and mud while bailey was barking up a storm at the fish and wondering why we were chasing fish instead of walking. By the time I was done, I got all of them out, except for maybe one that I just couldn't get out of the deep water. But I was so exhausted and was so mosquito bitten that I just couldn't do anymore.

I'm sure anyone running into me on the path would have thought I was nuts or that an alligator had tried to drag me into the water.

At one point in time, I did seriously consider that maybe I should have kept one or two for my dinner, but I just couldn't reconcile the fact that I was taking all this time to save them, only to eat some of them. Besides, I don't even know if you can eat them.

At any rate, I hope those fish are swimming around happily and it makes me wonder if my evenings will always be spent saving stranded fish after rain now. Maybe I should invest in a net and a wetsuit.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Sausage Please!

What do you see in this picture?

Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes.

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.

A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. A woman over forty will tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow
pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize And finally...

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage....

Monday, May 26, 2008

Memorable Memorial

Presenting Killian...

Kelly made one cute baby! It's been fascinating to see him and I even got to hold him for a while. It's all very touching and cool and I feel so excited to be able to watch him grow up! I took Mila for a few days for Kelly since she had a ton of stuff going on.

It is the end of memorial day weekend and we were blessed with fabulous weather. I started it out with a poker tournament on Friday, then on Saturday I took the girls out to Pohick where we met up with Jenna, Travis, Sadie, Bonnie and Oscar for a camp side dinner. Bonnie made a fabulous fondue and we had hot dogs and smores. On Sunday, I took the girls out for a hike in Fort Belvoir, then went to Kelly's to drop off Mila. We had a mid-day nap followed by another evening hike and wine on the deck. On Monday, my new friend Dave picked me up on his motorcycle and we went into DC to watch the memorial day parade. After we stopped in old town for irish beer and burgers, then he and I picked up Bailey and took her out for another walk.

Now it's closing in on the end of the holiday and I really had a good time this weekend and wish it would continue.

I worked all month, so I should be good for money for a while. Hopefully, more work will be in the pipeline, but frankly, if I have a week break, that would be fine with me.

I got myself the WiiFit and I've been using it every day, plus walking Bailey. Bonnie and I are working out together a couple of times a week. I'm still smoking and my weight hasn't gone down yet, but hope springs eternal.

Life is good... well except for the lack of sex. But really, I don't miss it all that much.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Work is Good!


Yes! After weeks of sitting around the house worrying, I managed to get a subcontract with a company doing work with another FAA LOB. It isn't paying as much as my prime contract was, but it means money will once again be flowing and I won't have to worry for a while. I can also utilize my employee, so we are both covered.

I think I will start up with my english riding lessons again to celebrate!

Oh... and I'm getting fatter by the day and I have still been smoking. Trying once again to start my healthy life.